Ok

I need to stop wallowing in self pity and just get my shit done.  I need to do so many things, but I don't want to do any of them!

So here is a short list of things I WILL be doing:

1)  Start my food log again.  I am always more successful when I am more mindful.  It makes me feel more ... accountable(?) I guess.  I am tired of being fat.  I felt pretty darn good when I weighed the same as I did at 19 and was dangerously getting close to being less than that.

2)  Find Joy in small everyday things.  I am not sure when it happened, but I became a grown up.  I used to view things with child-like wonder and find even the most mundane things extraordinary.  Now I am hardly ever amazed at anything.  I can't seem to find that wonder any more.  I hope it isn't gone forever.

3)  Find time for me.  I was recently told/ became aware of how I get bogged down in the details.  I am always trying to fulfill some obligation, whether for others (usually) or standards that I have set for myself (children of chaos tend to create it in order to feel "right").  I the same vein as #2, I will need to set aside time for me.  Maybe this blog could help?

That is my list so far.  It is short but I think that it is a start....